Is putting yourself first selfish?

Life gets busy, giving, helping, being, doing, loving, caring, sharing, speaking, it takes a lot of time and we can get caught up in it all. We end up running on empty, on fresh air or in most cases fumes. Fumes that are tainted with anger, resentment, jealousy, hurt, betrayal, dishonesty and then we become depleted.

We adapt to living life on a continuous cycle of repeat, we lose sight of who we are or what our purpose is and we slowly morph into someone we no longer recognise. What happens to us?

We are passed down stories from our parents, grandparents and even great grandparents, family members and told how to live. Everyone has heard a phrase like, 'who does she think she is?', 'just remember where you came from!', 'things like that don't happen to people like us' and then we are reminded that we must comply with the old stories and beliefs.

This then becomes our biggest hurdle when looking into giving ourselves time and space to heal, hurt, love and get out of the rut we are in.

We feel pangs of guilt if we need to rest instead of get on top of the pile of chores that are staring at us. We tell ourselves that self care is unimportant and that there are always other tasks we should be doing instead of putting ourselves first. I want to encourage you today to stop and be reminded that self care is NOT selfish it is actually essential in life. As the saying goes ' you cannot pour from an empty cup' and never a truer word to be said.

You are not indulgent, selfish or lazy when you acknowledge your need for rest, you are taking care of yourself and you are entitled to do so. As you begin to change the narrative you are not only making changes for yourself but you are creating a ripple effect for those around you and future generations.

Putting yourself first allows you to be more creative, happier, more energised and focussed. The flip side to not putting yourself first comes at the expense of your mental health and wellbeing. The majority of us would never allow or expect a loved one to put themselves last, get to burnout or exhaustion so why do we allow ourselves to?

The expectations we place on ourselves is very unrealistic and unsustainable way to live. As a human being there are basic needs and putting your needs first is the highest form of love and compassion you can give yourself. Think about treating yourself the way you would others and notice how your mood begins to change.

Life is for living, to have lots of (my word of the year) 'FUN'. It is also about experiencing pleasure, joy, happiness and fulfilling your deepest desires. We have somehow become a society that believes in order to feel these sensations and emotions that we must sacrifice being a good person. You can absolutely do both.

Today begin to take small steps in putting your needs before others. Allow yourself to be a priority and embrace a little self love. No one ever said they wish they never did.

Lisa