Is Comparison really the thief of Joy?

We all do it, maybe not all the time, sometimes we don't even realise we do it, we try not to but we all compare ourselves to others. Finances, career, parenting, weight, popularity, confidence, happiness the list is endless but my question is why do we do it?

The first thought that springs to mind is that we do it to evaluate ourselves, consider how well we are or aren't doing. As I researched this further I actually found out that there is a biological reason that our brain uses comparison to measure up how well we are doing compared to others. We compare to self validate, but we are only validating our own expectations.

Often we are comparing on an unconscious level, by doing this we can try and convince ourselves we are doing it for motivation, however the longer we do it the more we travel into a negative mindset of self loathing and enter further into a pool of low mood, jealousy, resentment and fear.

The habitual pattern of low self esteem becomes the norm and we begin to believe the lies we tell our self

' I am not good enough'

' No one will ever love me'

' I will never be able to achieve (x)

' He/she is so much better than I am'

' I will never look as good as that'

None of this is true unless we believe what we tell ourselves. How do we stop the self sabotage?

My advice would be

AWARENESS

Firstly become aware of your thoughts. Notice that when you feel activated or triggered where or who it stems from. This is not an opportunity to blame someone else for your feelings, it is in fact an opportunity to question how you can change this. How can you begin to think more positively and embrace self compassion?

LIMIT YOUR TIME

Take yourself off of social media, allow yourself to get comfortable with saying NO to people who drain your energy, don't feel guilty about spending less time in an environment that makes you feel uncomfortable. These small actions will be key components in creating more space between you and comparison.

GRATITUDE

The fundamental to life. Appreciating everything you have right now. Everything you have, was once something you dreamed of. Your circumstances at the moment may not be reflecting this statement, maybe there are one or two things happening now that you wish weren't but how about sitting back and looking at absolutely everything you do have. If some of what you have was taken away tomorrow how would you feel? Think of all the big and small things then you will soon curate a list of your own without needing to compare to others.

CELEBRATE

Celebrate yourself for all you have achieved. Often we dilute our own success due to being told once upon a time that would be bragging or showing off but I say f*ck that and be your own cheerleader. If you don't blow your own trumpet now and again why should you expect anyone else to do so?

Not only celebrate yourself but celebrate others successes. Consider this...

You resist celebrating someone else's happiness and success due to feeling that they are robbing you of yours. New relationship, new house, new bag, new holiday, upgraded car, promotion at work, pregnancy announcement, engagement, pb at the gym. Someone else's success will never halt yours because yours is yours and you must take consistent action to get what you want and desire.

MOVE

Comparison can be a low vibrational energy we store in our body which needs to be released to change our emotional state. Shifting energy comes in the form of moving our bodies via exercise and motion. Whether it is getting out in nature, an exercise class or having sex get those bodies moving. Everyone knows that when we do we release endorphins and feel good hormones.

At the end of the day the only person you should compare yourself to is you. Maybe a past version of yourself that once took action and didn't get caught up in anyone else's highlight reel. Focus on being more compassionate to yourself, less critical and take charge of your life. Gain more clarity, elevate your passion and remain consistent on your purpose.

Remember every feeling is temporary, life is temporary so try not be stuck in a place of comparison for too long.

Lisa