Is This How Grief Feels?

I’m gonna address something that I feel is a subject a lot of us struggle with...GRIEF

Now I am very aware this may trigger a lot of people and that is not my intention, my purpose is to make talking about grief a little easier

In my experience grief has felt like that ‘big pink elephant in the room’

🌈 Scared to mention it incase someone gets upset

🌈 Struggle not to show emotions

🌈 Playing it down

🌈 Noticing people avoid you

🌈 After years still getting upset & feeling like you shouldn’t as a lot of time has passed

🌈 Wanting to be alone & then wanting to be surrounded by people

Grief comes in waves, in & out, up & down. Questions enter your head on repeat ‘why?’ ‘How?’ Questions that never get answered only soften over time

We get angry, frustrated & can feel alone. People annoy us as you feel they ‘just don’t get it’

Somewhere there are unwritten rules about grief and ‘how’ we ‘should’ handle the situation when it occurs. We are a culture that almost promote hiding our emotions, numb yourself and pretend everything is ok

Some encourage you to ‘be strong’ tell you ‘better days are ahead’ whisper ‘time is a great healer’ and whilst their intention is to help their message somehow minimises the pain and evokes a sense of shame for not getting passed the finish line of grief quick enough

After 27years I have recognised that I never grieved. That I need to heal from losing my mum at such a young age. That mourning shouldn’t be done quickly or quietly

We lose a part of ourselves that will never return and that is ok to accept. Our title, our responsibilities, our routines & habits & our lifestyle.

That love & pain are so deeply intertwined, if you loved hard you will feel the pain just as much

That at any point you can feel unsafe and vulnerable & that is completely normal and 100% allowed

Talking & sharing stories help. They make you feel less alone & diminish shame

Crying shouldn’t be seen as a weakness in fact a release of energy that is inside you that needs to be out

There is no timeline for grief. Grief is not bound by time

Allow grief to be released. When we ignore or suppress our feelings they often reoccur in other forms: anxiety, depression, addiction, anger & many more

Acknowledging our feelings and emotions & expressing them will help the release of pain & our healing can begin.

Lisa x

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