Boundaries or Blurred Lines?

Are you good at creating healthy boundaries or are you someone that just allows others to walk all over you? This has been a massive conversation starter recently and I am thinking it is mainly due to Christmas being just around the corner. The idea of Christmas or in fact any large celebration is the perfect cocktail for some sort of disaster. I know too well that when you are from a big family everyone has their own ideas and opinions which is great however someone always ends up disappointed, frustrated or pretty pee'd off.

The term boundary to me means an imaginary line that separates you from everyone else. It separates your emotional and physical needs, your responsibilities and it also allows you to create a container in which others will know how they can and cannot treat you. Without boundaries people do not know where your limits are and often the consequence is that you get taken advantage of or end up hurt, angry or resentful.

Boundaries are a form of self care. Creating and honouring your own healthy boundaries mean you value yourself enough as a person and are not responsible for anyone else's feelings or emotions. Having strong boundaries in place allow you to minimise the need to people please and place responsibility back onto the other person. They also prevent burnout, overwhelm and stress. Being able to say NO allows you to be more in alignment with what makes you happy, experience joy and at peace.

You can be your own, true, authentic self when you have boundaries in place. You are able to create space for your feelings and making your own decisions, you do not need to contemplate pleasing anyone else. You can show others how to take responsibility for their own happiness.

Boundaries create safety both physically and mentally. You are able to keep out what feels uncomfortable, painful and hurtful and let more of what brings peace, love and support.

When we have strong boundaries in place we teach others how to prioritise their own needs over others wants.

If you are struggling with boundary setting try affirming one or all of these on a daily basis

• I am not responsible for other's thoughts, feelings or emotions

• I am allowed to say NO with ease

• I am learning how to set boundaries

• I have a right to end relationships that are draining energy from me

• I am enough the way I am

• In order to be at peace and welcome in more happiness I may need to let people or situations go

Boundary setting is never easy, it can feel really wrong and extremely out of your comfort zone but stay committed and you will reap the rewards later.

Lisa